the more comfortable -- safer -- option would be to let the promise slide through both their fingers. let it linger, unfulfilled, until they both forgot all about it. to treat it like so many events, with one of them begging the other to pretend like it never happened. but, as peggy had thought over and over again during their joint interrogation, a line had been crossed. this wasn't the mansion's powers-that-be stripping back their vulnerabilities. they were all themselves on that afternoon.
albeit, some of them more flensed down to their emotional bones than others.
so she strides into fitz and simmons's lab -- it's about one o'clock in the afternoon, and she's taken the time to shower and change after her morning boot camp. she's all curls and lipstick and a pencil skirt, but her expression isn't much different than when they'd set about their little mission together a little more than 24 hours prior. ]
Am I interrupting anything time sensitive? [ she asks by way of dubious greeting -- already nosily picking up a tablet off his desk and helping herself to a little gander. ]
[From the looks of things, it's as if nothing changed at all from yesterday. Fitz is settled where he always is, staring into a monitor and chewing on the edge of his thumbnail as he does so.]
Hm? Not particularly...
[He leads into it as his eyes move away and settle on Peggy touching the science. He scrambles to his feet, reaching for the opposite end of the tablet and gently lowering it back toward the desk. There's no way she'll be able to read the scrolling cascade of binary code.]
That's -- probably not something that ought to be handled at the moment. It's sensitive to haptic input.
[ oh! he's got that scramble to him -- the one howard gets when, she realizes, she inadvertently picks up one of his 'bad babies.' the inventions more liable to explode in her hands rather than do anything useful. surely, fitz can't be that reckless...
but she decides (ha!) to humour him. gently, she lets the tablet settle back in place. he's right enough: although she recognizes binary as binary, she doesn't recognize what it means or how it could be used or much of anything else. just as well. she's not actually here to snoop at his science. ]
I thought we should have a talk. [ and still! she hasn't said hello, or asked how he was, or even what he's working on. her dogged pursuit of the topic says a lot about her own nervousness around it. ] Concerning yesterday.
[ ugh, she hates this. she hates talking. it would be different if he were indeed just a fellow agent, and this were an office, and the mission had been something official and sanctioned. but what's professional about this situation has become braided into the personal. ]
[He gingerly sets the tablet back down, eyes still warily locked onto her hands as he half-expects them to shoot out and touch something else. Is she going to become a friend like Hunter, who comes round to "help" when she's bored?
...Though, truth be told, he misses Hunter quite terribly. Though mostly he misses the Hunter who'll come round with proper beers and yell at football on a Saturday afternoon with him. How many World Cups might have gone by while he's been trapped here?]
Yesterday? Is -- has something happened with Rip? [Does he need to strap a hidden arsenal to her?]
I'm afraid a a lot has happened with Mister Hunter.
[ -- but it's an idle statement, not one intended to call fitz to arms. peggy worries her bottom lip for a moment before she battens down her hatches and bottles up her discomfort. ]
Nothing that warrants any worry. [ not from him, at least, although peggy realizes she doesn't even know where to begin in consoling a man whose spiraling down what must be his third lost cause. ]
Before you left, I told you there would be a follow-up. [ she perches her restless hands on her hips instead. ] This is me, following up.
[It doesn't sound like an idle statement. A flash of adrenaline surges into him, just barely cut short when she assures him that it isn't worth worry. It leaves him with energy that has no focus, and he sits back heavily, fingers returning to his mouth.]
Ah -- right, of course. Is there -- are there other things you'd like me to know?
[ there are things she believes he should know. loops into which he should be invited -- and in inviting him, she almost believes two birds could be knocked out with the same stone. perhaps explaining the finer details of mister hunter's situation might play some small part in the pair of them working together, a possibility she now seriously entertains because it doesn't take 24 hours for her to realize the man who'd returned to wonderland is in desperate need of purpose.
but those loops aren't her loops to widen. she begins to wonder how much she can give away -- just what crumbs she can drop -- that might allow fitz to figure it out on his own. is that betrayal?
[If it was betrayal, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary. Betrayals are part of the routine. Maybe one day, he'll find a place of stability where he won't even cry about it.
But it isn't something he considers, especially not consciously. She's given him no reason to be suspicious that anything is out of the ordinary.]
Oh, is it that late already...?
[He blinks, looking down at the clock display.]
Afternoon already? [That's unexpected.]
Oh, but before we go, I should give you...
[He pushes his seat back from his desk and bends down to rummage through a drawer. His attention is split between tasks; it would be so easy for her to postpone the painful admission as long as she'd like.]
[ it's wrong of her, probably, but she bears witness to his workaholism with a subdued sense of pride. after all -- she hasn't ever seen it as a bad thing to be married to one's job. although a rather darling friend once told her there's meant to be a difference between being an independent woman and being a spinster.
and little over 48 hours later, that friend was cold dead with a bullet between her eyes. ]
Yes?
[ she waits -- patient, biting back a quip along the lines of it isn't even my birthday because, of course, her birthday was rather soon. best not to bring it up. ]
[ she reaches for the lipstick first, uncapping it and twisting the bullet out of its casing. peggy leans in, sniffs the formula, and finds the drug better masked than in the shade she keeps back home. ]
Just as well. Our little interrogation wasn't much of a kissing occasion. Even so, tell Simmons I'm grateful.
[ bright and wry and utterly guileless, it seems, without a hint further. honestly, the colour is perfect. ]
This'll be something else for the 'jewellery box,' I think. Last time someone got their hands on my tactical lipstick, I found myself rather on the wrong end of it.
I've taken that much into consideration, actually. [He shuts the drawer and rises to his feet, up to his tiptoes as he stretches.] Since I've gotten your data on file, I've taken the liberty of keeping it locked to your biological signature. The cap will be stuck for anyone else.
[ it should bother her more than it does, she thinks: her data on file. it isn't the sort of thing she should condone. nor stomach, really, to be discussed so casually. but nor can she argue with results.
peggy caps the lipstick. eyes it, eyes him, and thinks about how many eggs she's put in this basket. ]
Show me. [ she tosses the tube back in his direction. ]
[ oh, come on! it wasn't all that tough of a lob, surely. it's hard to imagine him now as the same stern-faced fellow who'd kept her six just yesterday. but rather than dwell on it, she takes the moment to scrutinize the action. she lets her thoughts play out aloud: ]
One has to wonder whether it isn't somehow more suspicious to own what would appear to be a faulty tube. [ a shake of her head; she's not really complaining, however. ] Although it's not discretion you designed it for so much as safety. It'll do.
[ she rounds the corner of the desk and plucks the lipstick back into her own possession before reaching, instead, for the icer. ] Do you happen to have a spare holster? Mine's occupied.
[ of course, it doesn't look like she's currently wearing a holster. logic dictates that it's under her skirt. ]
[He is absolutely not going to check under her skirt. Or under her anywhere, thanks. Instead, it only compounds how flustered he feels. Doesn't she normally find his work acceptable? Isn't that how he came to be her favorite?? Has she changed her mind somehow?]
-- If the lipstick isn't suitable for your purposes, I can reformat the casing...
[But he's ducking back down to fetch a holster for her. He ought to have gotten her one in the first place, shouldn't he? He must've been letting the favorite comment go to his head and make him sloppy. A stupid mistake. If he falls out of her favor, he deserves to.]
[ did he not hear her? she'd said it'll do. perhaps she needed to reassert herself as someone who doesn't hand out compliments like popcorn at a circus.
for now, she tucks the lipstick into the holster -- snug next to the icer -- and decides she might as well drop the whole thing off at her place before they continue on up to the diner. because that is, of course, where she intends to take him. over the last few months, she's developed a fondness for their aesthetic over the stiff and ornate dining hall. ]
Is there anything about the gun I should be worried about?
[It suits. It's suitable only. After her previous shows of awe, this is probably a polite way to vocalize her disappointment. She hates it. He hasn't been good enough.]
The ICER is calibrated toward a human target. They generally aren't effective against enhanced individuals. Cyborgs aren't stunned for very long. Inhumans are too variable to guarantee a success rate.
[Which might just be another way to disappoint her. She's come to trust him, and this is all he can deliver her?]
[ she flicks her attention to the door -- announcing, in some small way, her intention to leave with him seconds before her feet start moving. peggy runs her thumb along the gun's grip and trusts it's not too presumptive a question. after all, it's fitz who'd shown such amazement over the other pistol's longevity. ]
[ He'd said she'd "been out long enough," or some other really shitty way to word being, you know, free. Getting the message had filled her with a sinking feeling to the point she never thought she'd be able to move.
She didn't have a say in the matter, of course.
After making sure no one would contact her for a while, she heads down to the lab, coming to a stop about twenty feet away from the entrance. For the longest, all she can do is stare at it in dread. Once she was over the threshold, it'd only be a matter of time before she'd be again begging for a death that would never come.
Fitz had yet to make any mistakes.
Fighting back tears--she didn't want to look weak so quickly--she finally goes to the entrance, barely hearing Monika's cheery greeting as she steps inside.
[ A million smarmy things come to mind immediately, the dumb, fiery side of her somehow refusing to die. Nothing particularly stupid makes it to her lips, however, but she does offer a shrug. That probably won't be sufficient enough, so eventually she does answer. ]
You want people to stop worryin' about me, I gotta make sure they don't.
[ She looks away at a distant area, not wanting to meet his eyes. She's rooted to the spot, her body unwilling to go further. ]
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